Top 10 Reasons…

January 31st, 2007 Posted By Pat Dollard.

…A Marine should love his weapon more than his wife.

10. You can trade in your old 44 for a new 22.

9. You can keep one at home and have another one for the road.

8. If you admire a friend’s, he’ll probably let you try it out a few times.

7. You’re primary one doesn’t mind if you keep another one for back-up.

6. It’ll stay around without complaining, even if you’re broke.

5. It doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

4. It functions normally every day of the month.

3. It’ll sit next to you the whole weekend while you watch sports, without saying a fucking thing.

2. It doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after using it.

And the number one reason why a marine should love his weapon more than his wife!

1. You’ve got a silencer for it.


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4 Responses

  1. annie

    Two women here who should be offended…but aren’t. You are funny as…heck. Although a man’s man…no doubt…we like your work and your charm has won us over. Will watch for your documentary and read you..faithfully. Oh brother! No kidding…thank you for what you are doing. We feel pretty much on our own out here with nothing standing between us from losing our heads or getting our petite little rears blown up but our fantastic Military and…and …..wait…can’t think of anything else besides our fantastic Military. Two women secluded up a javalina (wild pigs) infested canyon on our own,
    Annie & Neatie (NO, we are not queer..Yuck)
    Sheep Fold
    Yarnell, Arizona

  2. jeff pendleton

    oorah from a e.o.d. marine.

  3. Ren Doughty

    Hey, guys, that’s not funny. That’s hurtful. That objectifies women. That list sets unrealistic relational expectations. That list… SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIBERAL DOUCHEBAGS!!!! Can’t you just enjoy a little absurd humor from time to time? “This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun.” When I was a Marine Combat Engineer Platoon Sgt. with the 7th Engineers in the first Gulf War, I was in a platoon full of motorcycle freaks. One guy showed me a picture of a bike he’d built, and said, “I could never replace this ride. I built it from parts with my own two hands. I could get another old lady any day of the week, but I could never replace this motorcycle. Life’s like this sometimes. Thanks, Pat, for the dose of reality. God Bless you men and women fighting for what’s right.

  4. TJ

    the Top ten reasons an insurgent should love his wife as much as his weapon, includes the above mentioned reasons except number 4.

    but if you die while using your weapon, you get 72 young virgins, and if you die while using your wife , what do you get?

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