April 17, 2008
3:19 A.M.
Okay, here it is, in all it’s glorious detail ( if you find it boring, sorry, it can only be what it is ) the long awaited rattlesnake/full-auto story. First of all, before any of you smug types write me off for being a flake for just getting it up now ( no points for all you smartasses who think you’ve just thought a clever joke there ), the reason it took so long is that the star of the incident, Spc. Jared De Luna, formerly of the 82nd Airborne and a combat veteran of both Kosovo and Afghanistan, has just now at this very moment become available to tell the tale with that eyewitness-thing. Like I said, I could’ve repeated it, but thought this would be better. The fuckin’ car salesman with the fuckin video has still not been able to get it off his phone and on my computer, so that footage ain’t here yet, but I’m gonna try to scan some pics in. If you don’t see any at the end of this post, that means that didn’t work. )
Okay, so like I said, Jared, Jordan the car salesman, and Wong, aka “Yellowneck” of “Young Americans” went out to first do a little four-wheeling rampage before the main event which was to annihilate the desert and whatever sinister creatures might be lurking about in it with….Wong’s new FULLY AUTO M-4 carbine. ( Which costs over 8 grand for a piece of metal about as big as both of my thumbs put together, which is the “device” that makes it fully-automatic ). After some landscaping by tire, futile attempts to climb a rock wall, and non-chemical induced launches into space, they disembarked with the magical, brand new, expensive, and completely legal wand of death and….’tell you what, I’m now handing over the keyboard to the paratrooper himself, to just lay it all out. He’s warned me the infantry can’t spell, but I may be too lazy to clean any fucking thing up, so whatever follows….
Jared here speaking, now. I’ve had a long day working and many beers and have to get up early, so no time for punctuation and the likes: So me, wong and the used car salesman find an area with a lot of stuff to shoot and blow up with our loads of explosive tanerite. We began destroying some televisions and random abandoned items with the exsplosives, an ak 47, 40 cal glock, 3.57, wong’s toy and my M 4. We soon destroyed most of the targets and half the hillside so i moved down range to set up some more targets and a rattlesnake lurched out from under what was left of the tv and drew my 40 cal but did not engage because fear of ricochet given the rocks and the angle. Like a fool ( I was a little adrenaline crazy ) I pinned the rattler with a stick and yelled to my trigger happy squad who immediately came to provide the desperately necessary backup to kill it, but suddenly we couldn’t get a clean shot cause it slithered quick as lightning back under the tv. Still foolishly determined, me and the car salesman alinged as he pushed the tv over and exposed the open, angry target. Like New York cops outside a nightclub we instantly began to uleash a hail of fury with my 40 cal and his 3.57. Like champs we blew the snakes head off, splayed his ass in several pieces BUT he was still moving. As we unleashed the second wall of lead I screamed at the top of my lungs HE’S STILL MOVING, CONTACT FRONT, CONTACT FRONT LIGHT HIM UP! After I and the car salesman spent our mags, Wong ran forwad with his full-auto boom stick like a GI after a bulgarian whore, dumping a 30 round mag into the rocks about five feet in front of him, missing the remains of the ancient killer. With all 30 rounds the intestity of his rifle sent little humming bullets buzzing by mine and the car salesman’s head, and i felt a sharp slam about 6 ” from my wang on my thigh I looked down at my pants and noticed a small whole in my pants and went to turn to the trucks and felt a little burn on my leg and figured a hot shell must of hit my leg and realized i was having trouble standing on it. With my pants now around my ankles I stared at the pinky sized gaping whole in my leg oozing blood and had a pain in the back of my leg as if some one punched me from behind. Which was a bad sign, cos the hole, the entry point, was in the front of my pants. Had it been a bit of rock that had flung up and nicked me, I would’ve only felt the pain at the front, where a simple rock shard gouge would be. Now a bullet or frag would be felt towards the back of the thigh, once it had slammed in and found it’s final berth. So, I yelled to my compadres IM SHOT! They replied, not without confusion “No way man, are you joking?” I replied, “NO! there’s a fucking whole in my pants and leg and its fucking bleeding!” Wong, after assesing the wound insisted that a rock must’ve flipped up and scratched me. ( Bear in mind Wong was the shooter, and shooting rapidly and closely, and probably a little embarrased) So me, the car sales man and brandon now debated on whether the bleeding wound wich impailed my leg was infact a bullet or rock. I’m bleeding, there’s a whole in my leg, pain shifting around to all different places, groin to shinbone, and we’re having a casual debate like forensic ballistic experts. We all came to an agreement as people drove by staring at the two military-looking guys and the pot-bellied, hippy-ish car salesman in Docker shorts with a holster and large pistol, looking like he has no business near a handgun, let alone a giant .357 he’s sort of waving around - one of us with his pants down and all of us staring near his crotch, clinging to our guns. So i made the call and said FUCK IT! the days still young weve got alot of ammo and gas so let tread dirt and kill some shit… by the way a 3.57 and a quale = pink mist and feathers and maybe there little feet after getting my truck high centered with no wheels on the ground and then bogged down with water in the intake we decided weve pressed our luck for the day and should head back. after returning to the house i had little strength and dont remember much but everyone was discusing wehter i should be taken to a hospital because i was looking real pail and felt like barfing and was having some trouble walking, i dont remember going to the hospital but remember the x ray tech saying yup you’ve been shot, the police being called in to protect there staff and the nurse asking my girl if she could help calm me down and a surgeon digging through my leg and wong waiting in the lobby. 3 days later i wound up in the hospital with a bad infection and hating the VA.
Just remember i made it through Afghanistan with out getting shot until I went shooting with a marine in Arizona! Airborne. I think I may actually be the first Army guy Pat has let post on this more Marine-oriented site, so I’m not missing the opportunity to get my shot in. As it were.
I owe my final thanks to Pat as he talked sense into everyone, didn’t let me go to sleep and made sure I got to the emergency room. I’d almost bought the rock theory, luckily he knew better. Also, he wants me to tell you about my some of my experiences in Afghanistan, including the time when I proved that an ass-puckering experience like stepping on a bouncing betty and having to stand in place for 30 minutes before you find out if your going to die or not can make you end up shitting yourself but…. sorry, I’m short on time so i fill you in later today on that and some other stories.
Also, it’s too late to screw around with getting the scanner working, so pictures will be up later. And hopefully we’ll get that damn cellphone video posted as well.
3:55 A.M.
4:01 P.M.
It’s funny how “sophisticates” mock those who believe in things like God, and worship at the altar of science. For some reason, both modern science and psychiatry ( ie, secular priests, which is what psychiatrists are ) seem often no different from witch doctors, shamans and alchemists, as many of the central tenets and beliefs of each change every few years, often in a completely 180 degree fashion. From global cooling to global warming to crap like this. Why put so much faith in both science and psychiatry when yesterday’s truth so often becomes today’s fallacy. I’m not saying to abandon science, but I am saying putting so much faith in the human mind and it’s favorite deductive process, may not automatically be so much better than what is revealed and given to man by a legitimate spiritual journey. Once upon a time science and spirituality were married. Some idiots somewhere decided they needed to be divorced. For no good reason. But that’s a lengthy topic….
5:10 A.M.
5:12 A.M.
5:24 P.M.
Franchie sent me this video of her husband:
5:45 A.M.
Love. Hurts.
6:28 A.M.
Okay, for all you Government workers with a full 8 hours to kill, and all you true political junkies (nerds? no, never), here’s a complete transcript of last night’s debate between Hillary and Hussein.
7:53 A.M.
This just in via email literally two minutes ago from a close friend stationed in the green zone. Whose quarters have all the safety of a conex box because….they are a conex box:
“dude, indirects been fucking crazy today, been hit about 3 times. fuckin sand storms got visibility less than 200 meters too.”
9:07 A.M.
This is the face of the cheerleader who was beaten up by the gang of other girls. Here’s the video of her first interview.
9:13 A.M.
Another email, 1 minute-old, from the Green Zone. Apparently, the bombardment restarted after the first shoot ‘n scoot. This is the living picture of “diplomacy” with Iran at work. Talk solves everything, didn’t you hawks know that? : “Make that another round for hajii, fuckers got us dialed in pretty good. Wonder if theyll let me sleep tonight.”
6:44 P.M.
Out much of the day, back..
9:03 P.M.
I just found out that a professor at a Philadelphia college has assinged his class to monitor this site for the next few weeks, and write papers about it. There’s apparently some other guy at Georgetown who has done something similar.
9:06 P.M.
9:21 P.M.
Colbert’s warm-up to Hillary’s appearance:
10:25 P.M.
Hussein gives Hillary the Finger.
Be respectful of others and their opinions. Inflammatory remarks and inane leftist drivel will be deleted. It ain’t about free speech, remember you’re in a private domain. My website, my prerogative.
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Great story!!!
April 17th, 2008 at 4:00 amI would like to thank the young men in the story above for their service to our country . . .
Hey Wong - Dick Cheney called . . .
April 17th, 2008 at 4:11 amSorry that this is completely off topic but I just had to run it by you guys…
First a confession: I’m completely and thoroughly brain fucked by the mere thought of Milla Jovovich, so my judgment may be skewed here. I didn’t even know that a video had been done for this song(Yes, I have her CD)and when I saw it, something seemed familiar. Does this look like something Bash might produce to you? I had to watch it a couple of times before I connected the dots here. See what you all think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSCFAxxCO7Q
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I’ve always been a Milla Jovovich fan. She’s a raw beauty, unspoiled by the modeling world’s cookie cutters.
As an actress, she carries her own. There are some actors/actresses that are far worse. Besides the “Resident Evil” series of movies rock. And she apparently sings better than Björk or Yoko … eh?
Anyhow, not sure what dots …
Gimme your thunks on this video?
April 17th, 2008 at 4:41 amOkay … HOW did I know it was going to be something along the lines of this? LMAO!!
Sorry, shouldn’t laugh, but somehow wondering if the snake didn’t have this all planned out …
It took THAT much lead flying
to take out one snake … 
Guess you’d better have a doc-type start hanging out at the Dollard Compound, eh?
“MEDIC! MEDIC!!”
April 17th, 2008 at 4:55 amDamn that was a great story! It was well worth the wait. making it through Afghanistan and then getting shot by one of your own friends. Glad you’re alright, sounds like it could have went either way.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:21 amSad story, but what of the children he left? When it sucks you still have to keep moving forward.
Phrases from socialized, government managed health care: “Health Minister for Jersey” / “A Home Office pathologist” /”My grievance is that there was no lifesaving equipment on the ward to save her.”
April 17th, 2008 at 5:31 amI cannot bring myself to watch more than 3 minutes of any of the d’rat debates so far. Printed? maybe, anyone got Evelyn Woods phone number?
April 17th, 2008 at 5:52 amWong 1, snake 1…almost. Lucky it didn’t hit the femoral. Could there be some connection on why he made it through Afghanistan somehow and such recreational activity?:-)
April 17th, 2008 at 5:54 amI sent this link off to Pat and Bash, and they might post it later … Just in case here is a text of the debate:
NYTimes transcript of last night’s debate:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/16/us/politics/16text-debate.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&pagewanted=all&oref=slogin
April 17th, 2008 at 6:00 amOk, that was a damn good story. worth the wait. but how were you involved exactly, Pat? I mean besides convincing the guy to go to the hospital…I figured there’d be something in there about you seeing a snake and running around squealing like a girl.
but seriously, that was funny, glad you finally got it up…
April 17th, 2008 at 6:09 am
holy shit.
April 17th, 2008 at 6:13 amRe: debate transcript …
ANYONE (actual THINKING people with half a brain) who is thinking about voting for either of these two should be strongly advised to READ such debate transcripts … In “written word” form they are even more (or LESS) striking than listening to the smooth-devil-tongued deliveries of the words by their purveyors.
April 17th, 2008 at 6:21 amA tragic example of why National Health Care is a bad idea. I have read too many horror stories about medical mistakes in the UK as part of the National Health Service. Hell even British troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan have been subjected to substandard medical treatment as a result.
Didn’t watch the debate last night, I was more interested in Romney and Cheney’s remarks at the Correspondents Dinner.
April 17th, 2008 at 6:54 amDidn’t watch the debate last night, I was more interested in Romney and Cheney’s remarks at the Correspondents Dinner.
April 17th, 2008 at 7:05 am—————————
I almost pissed my pants laughing @ Cheney. He didn’t leave anyone out.
This just in via email literally two minutes ago from a close friend stationed in the green zone. Whose quarters have all the safety of a conex box because….they are a conex box:
“dude, indirects been fucking crazy today, been hit about 3 times. fuckin sand storms got visibility less than 200 meters too.”
April 17th, 2008 at 7:32 am——————————————
When that sand storm clears, Leave nothing but a stain on the pavement. Praying for the storm to end quickly!
Also loved Mo Rocca’s remark that “the only person to lose weight faster than Huckabee is Hannity if he lost Colmes.” That and the pic from the slide show of Hillary looking like she was about to bitch slap a guy.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:23 amFunniest part about the story is after all the shooting stopped and we got what was left of the snake it turned out to not even be a rattler. All them rounds wasted for a gopher snake, oh well least it made for a good story and a nice war wound and me waiting around til 3am at the VA hospital watching late night get rich info mercials. Ahhh what fun.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:28 amIt’s funny how “sophisticates” mock those who believe in things like God, and worship at the altar of science
April 17th, 2008 at 8:28 am———————————————–
HAHAHAHA
Pat, that subject is a VERY long one. It would take me the rest of my life to lay out the argument against the “sophisticates”.
“Guess you’d better have a doc-type start hanging out at the Dollard Compound, eh?”
Don’t worry, we have a “Doc” too. He is just in country right now.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:21 amShoulda used hollowpoints.
Actually, do they even make hollowpoints in 5.56? I don’t remember ever seeing any.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:30 amGreat Story!!
Who was the Used Car Salesman? HAHA!!
April 17th, 2008 at 9:34 amhahaha wow
you stepped on a fooking mine?!!
April 17th, 2008 at 10:10 amI cant believe anyone who had been to the middle east would have to ask about the problem with religion.
And by the way, difference between the two is that science looks for some kind of reason for what it believes and has the balls to admit its wrong when the evidence supports the contrary.
This is opposed to claiming that fact X wills send you into eternal fire and reinterpreting the scripture to say “we don’t have a problem with that” a century or so later when it becomes laughable NOT to believe in round earth, extinctions, the fossil record, evolution or whatever the hell it’s gonna be next.
Man, I’m usually on your side, but your credibility just took a major hit IMHO.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:38 amthey make hollowpoints/hunting rounds in 5.56./.223
April 17th, 2008 at 10:39 ambut, on full auto, at such close range, on such a small animal, FMJ or an expanding round, it would have made no difference. you can chalk this one up to too much beer and being excited/having too much fun, I think.
Pictures! Must have pictures!
(So glad to hear SPC De Luna made out OK.)
April 17th, 2008 at 10:51 am
drillanwr (hembra blanca típica)
April 17th, 2008 at 11:53 amThere was just something familiar about the style of the video and some of the effects used. I watched it a couple of times and it sort of seemed to me that Bash’s style was very similar. Its been so long since we’ve had a Bash original here that it took me a while to key in on it. Maybe I was hoping it would inspire the Bashman to put something together since its been so long….
Agreed!
Hey, Bash! How about a video for the Dollardheads?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:57 amLMFAO!!!
Oldie but goodie:
South Park: The Day The Internet Stood Still
http://gawker.com/380877/south-park-the-day-the-internet-stood-still?autoplay=true
April 17th, 2008 at 12:44 pm@drill:
Weird video, but I’ll take any excuse to stare at Milla.
@Unbreakable:
I was thinking the hollowpoints are less likely to ricochet, although at point blank range against rock I’m not sure how much of a difference it’d make.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:53 pmhey i just saw this banner ad on cnn. looks like another anti-military film coming out. just what we need the Abu Ghraib rehashed. anybody heard about it?
http://www.sonyclassics.com/standardoperatingprocedure/
April 17th, 2008 at 2:08 pmThe Milla video was nods to TBinSTL (just typical) … He shares your “interest” in Milla.
I heard mention of it being in the works …
Fact of the matter is, THIS is all [they] seem to ever have …
A handful of idiots at a prison in country at the beginning of a war.
They keep rehashing and rehashing it to the point of over-dilution … The “shock factor” is completely gone.
Any time I now hear the “What about Abu Ghraib?” from some antiwar nut-case I just shrug, “Yeah, so the hell what?”
I am beyond even rationalizing and reasoning the stupid isolated incident.
It’s gotten to the point where I [think] the stupid teen cheerleader beating was worse.
So, whoever wasted the time, energy, money to make this thing should have just flushed the money down the toilet.
If “Redacted” didn’t draw the masses in, this semi-documented “horse-play” surely won’t.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
April 17th, 2008 at 2:30 pmIf y’all ever go fishin with hand grenades, PLEASE lemme go along!
April 17th, 2008 at 2:43 pmhttp://youtube.com/watch?v=dKEmBI6-wU0
Love ya, kiddo!
April 17th, 2008 at 3:07 pmOMG DRILL - ROTFLMFAO . . . that gator dead!
I almost fell outta my chair . . . seriously.
It is hailin’ . . . global warming sucks.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:31 pmAh! Hail in Texas! That’s like the robins returning to Ohio … The cherry blossoms in D.C. …
It’s how I know it’s no longer winter … Texas Twisters are on their way!! And so is warm weather to the North Coast …
April 17th, 2008 at 5:46 pmHere ya go … Found this one just for you … complete w/ pictures (THAT gator NOT dead!):
“Shock for police as they stop motorist and find 6ft alligator on his back seat”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=560247&in_page_id=1811
April 17th, 2008 at 7:35 pmThat really was a ricochet story, not a rattlesnake story.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:33 pmThey both begin with an “R”.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:34 pmA.S. Wise -
You’re on.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:35 pm“I just found out that a professor at a Philadelphia college has assinged his class to monitor this site for the next few weeks, and write papers about it. There’s apparently some other guy at Georgetown who has done something similar.”
Wow. The libs are watching…LOL…Maybe they’ll actually learn something for a change. Then again, spoon-feeding Chompsky, Zinn and Said all day to a bunch of mush-headed libs…it’s unlikely that their tiny brains can fathom heavy topics such as…oh…you know…truth.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:40 pmI just found out that a professor at a Philadelphia college has assinged his class to monitor this site for the next few weeks, and write papers about it. There’s apparently some other guy at Georgetown who has done something similar.
————————————————————
Should we put down newspaper, or set up litter boxes for any troll poop?
I’m sorry, Pat.
I’ll be good.
Not so much!
Fuck!
April 17th, 2008 at 8:44 pmHey Pat, do these intellectual chumps think that we should feel intimidated because they are “monitoring” this site?
I guess we shoud be careful how many 
and 
we use for the next 2 weeks 
April 17th, 2008 at 8:47 pmDo you have any possible subjects/thesis for any of these “papers”?
Nah … They’re just coming here to try to break the larry
code …
They’ll try.
They’ll fail.
Right, larry?
April 17th, 2008 at 8:50 pmDon’t anybody be good. Just be yourselves. Or worse.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:01 pmDon’t anybody be good. Just be yourselves. Or worse.
————————————————————
Abso-fucking-lutely, baby.
Wait …
Pat … You REALLY think I can get any worse?!?
LMFAO!!!
April 17th, 2008 at 9:05 pmI just found out that a professor at a Philadelphia college has assinged his class to monitor this site for the next few weeks, and write papers about it. There’s apparently some other guy at Georgetown who has done something similar.
—————————————–
I hope they give you the results. It would be cool to see what they all think.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:00 pm10:25 P.M.
Hussein gives Hillary the Finger.
He did 
April 17th, 2008 at 10:59 pm_____________________________________
mike3481
I fucking love larry
April 17th, 2008 at 11:50 pmre the 903, > don’t stare at the camera
April 18th, 2008 at 3:33 amhey Pat,
I didn’t know that my hubby was such a masochist Narcissus that supported an obsessive decoration of his ass ; last time I checked it that was for a pragmatic agenda
April 18th, 2008 at 4:28 amYep … He sure did flip her the “Fuck You” bird …
Must be election season.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:48 amEver notice how professors tell their students to think for themselves, but if their thoughts don’t fall in line with the Left’s agenda the students are ridiculed and punished?
For people who claim to hate hate, they sure seem full of it themselves.
April 18th, 2008 at 7:53 am