The Gospel Of The Magic Popolo
The only thing that truly bothers me about this article, is that I didn’t write it…I wrote the headline…the word “Popolo” is what Blacks are called in Hawaii, and it is neither a derogatory nor racist term…and I love this quote:
On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.
Yep, sure wished I could take credit for writing this, but Gerard Baker for Times Online did:
He ventured forth to bring light to the world…
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.
He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the
Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the
Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.
From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.
And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child’s very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.
And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.
From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.
In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.
As word spread throughout the land about the Child’s wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.
And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child’s journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.
And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.
Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.
And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.
Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.
But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.
And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.
Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.
On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.
And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”
(TimesOnline)
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Turn it up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98I85ceICRM
July 24th, 2008 at 8:12 pmTHIS is classic smack …
I wish it was yours too …
July 24th, 2008 at 8:14 pmCome back annointed one! Come back to your home amongst the Liberalites, for the McCainiacs have been wreaking much havoc in your absence and we have lost precious poll percents! Help us to smite them and we shall prepare your place on the throne in the House of Great Whiteness and restore your proper title - Emir of the Americanites, Protectors of the Q’uran!
July 24th, 2008 at 8:16 pmClassic Smack and Classic Rock!
July 24th, 2008 at 8:20 pmLoved it!
July 24th, 2008 at 8:28 pmThis is a keeper and a sharer!
July 24th, 2008 at 9:10 pmLMFAO!
But scary how some actually see BHO as their messiah.
July 24th, 2008 at 9:13 pmWow, now I know there is help for my summer allergies. If only I can touch His cloak, I will be healed.
July 24th, 2008 at 9:26 pmGreat editorial loll
Can we say Obama speaketh horse shit?
‘Yes we can! .. Yes we can .. ‘
July 24th, 2008 at 9:40 pmIs the dupe up to “Working Class Whites” deliberate? Can’t quite tell.
The piece has so many great zingers in it that it would be hard to count, let alone memorize them. But it’s probably worth the effort.
July 24th, 2008 at 9:46 pmI was watching a bit of Hussein’s speech (I can only take a couple
July 25th, 2008 at 1:32 amof minutes of exposure) and flipping between Fox News (Martha McCallum)
and the BBC.
I hate to say it but the BBC actually gave a fairer report than
Fox. The BBC covered the Obamamania but gave an equal amount of time
to how this stuff might not play well at home and interviewed
a couple of good old boys (but not Jerry Springer types) from
I think it was VA. They explained why they don’t trust Obama.
Martha was all fluff and goo.
It’s not the Fox News I thought I knew. !!!!!
This is brilliant!
July 25th, 2008 at 8:28 amThis is a keeper. And on judgement day where will the Obahmessiah be and what will he be doing? Will the righteous be on his left? And will he preach “just words” or give “just speeches” to them? And those on his right? Will he cast them into the everlasting lake of derision and vituperation?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Sarcasm /off
July 25th, 2008 at 9:11 amsaw this on another site. thought it was funny
“KFI Los Angeles has a rep for the mouthiest talk shows on the West Coast. Their morning drive-time today led off their “Obama Woos Berlin” story this way:
(Theme from Jesus Christ Superstar playing throughout)
Obama spoke to a crowd in Berlin yesterday in his run for Savior!
(Jesus Christ Superstar continues in the background)
After which, He walked on water across a lake of beer –
(interrupt) Did he bring Brats?
Yes! He took two Bratwursts and five steins of beer and fed the entire crowd!
(Forgettable sound bite from Obama speech — “Hope! Change! HopeChange! Whatever!” — then Jesus Christ, Superstar rises to a crescendo, drowning out the rest…
This is getting to be their standard way of reporting on Obama. (I would have gone on a little longer, about the crowd rushing Obama to get his Mark on their foreheads and right hands, but nobody would have gotten the reference.)”
July 25th, 2008 at 9:22 amFour things were clear from yesterday’s stunt in Germany:
1) The crowds that came out had clear disdain for America.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:11 am2) Sen. Obama is more interested in currying the favor of those who don’t understand the needs of America than he is about taking care of those needs in ways that really work for Americans.
3) We now know what he would do if elected. His modus operandi any situation would be to appease those who are upset as opposed to doing what needs to be done. Such a path has always failed. Economically, it means listening to the special interest groups that scream the loudest and who generally have the most myopic plans. Internationally it means kowtowing to, and thereby emboldening, America’s enemies.
4) If we vote for him, knowing all of the above, we are playing Russian roulette with the future of the nation.
In the name of Barack, Hussein, and the holy Popolo, ObAmen
July 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm“…offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant.”
Brill. Give us more, Gerard.
The British Sun did some leg work and found one of Snobama’s half-brothers who’s currently in England. Why do we have to depend on the Brits to give us news about his Kenyan family?
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/the_real_american_idol/article1472877.ece
July 25th, 2008 at 9:48 pm