Time For A Laugh: Read And Add To The List…
Learn how to make the ladies laugh, and you’ll never go home alone…Okay, grabbed this comment from Dollard Reader “Unbreakable”…Gave me a much needed chuckle. Your job is to add to this list. You don’t have to bring in a different country, you can use a country already listed. Bonus points for coming up with two countries…
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.”
They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
Spain and England are where all mine are from, so I was not spared here…
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Any other day, I’d find this hilarious. But today 10 French soldiers were killed in Afghanistan and that definitely takes the edge off the humour for me.
August 19th, 2008 at 12:58 pmaye…too true.
May they Rest in Peace.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
August 19th, 2008 at 1:31 pm“Learn how to make the ladies laugh, and you’ll never go home alone”.
Or as in my case if you can’t be good in bed at least be funny.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:31 pm“neocon humor makes only neocons smile”, as for “all the Americans are racist”, that’s fuckin funny, (thanks Serfer)
August 19th, 2008 at 1:33 pm“Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
giggity giggity
August 19th, 2008 at 1:34 pmAbsolutely pray that they rest in peace. ALL that die in harm’s way.
The U.S. is a member of NATO. The charter says that an attack on one is an attack on all. We were attacked in 2001 by terrorists directly supported by the ruling regime in Afganistan.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pmHow many Americans have died in Afghanistan since then?
More than 10.
Giggity giggity giggity
brilliance. lol
August 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pmIn Egypt the highest terror level was reached during the 1967 war with Israel…they call it “RUN AWAY!”
One further note: The day after the six-day war there was an ad in the Cairo Daily Planet that read: “For sale - 200,000 AK-47’s; only been dropped once.”
Al Qaeda has an alert system, as well. It ranges from “Uh oh!” to “JDAM - HOLY SH…”
August 19th, 2008 at 1:44 pmThese beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. (and so they can see where they’re going)
August 19th, 2008 at 1:58 pm“Nancy Pelosi took a break from her book tour and announced today that not only has she made her beloved San Fransisco a sanctuary city for illegal immigrants, but also for illegal terrorists. She also said that the word ‘terrorist’ is hate speech and cannot be used in her city. since it is already illegal in San Fransisco to say anything derogatory about anyone other than jews, Christians, conservatives, and heterosexuals, these ‘people’ will be called ‘welcome friends’, or ‘welfs’ for short.
fearful of a massive wave of ‘welfs’ attacking the nation the bush administration pointed all of its nuclear weapons at the bay area and is expected to fire them within the hour.
conservatives everywhere are jumping for joy
August 19th, 2008 at 2:17 pmhey, i can hope
August 19th, 2008 at 2:17 pmthat’s funny
August 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pmoff a little but here it goes anyways,
which pres. is on the dollar?
which pres. is on the five?
if Hussein where elected pres. what would his image be on?
food stamps
August 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pmI grieve for the French at least they are fighting for us.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:15 pmLets empty our prisons and send them on probation to San Francisco. Then fire when ready.
Alright I am going to let you guys in on some of my best pick up lines.
“Do you know karate, cuz your body is KICKIN’!”
August 19th, 2008 at 6:16 pm“Are you up for a mustache ride?”
“The label in that blouse must say made in Heaven!”
Oh by the way…..
August 19th, 2008 at 6:18 pmI am single and looking so if any of you hot ladies are looking for an older dork hit me back!!!